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In what has been widely regarded as a controversial move, Alberta Premier Ralph Klein decided this month to buy every man, woman, and child in his province a new XBox 360. Deciding almost unanimously against spending the additional funds on such petty things as schools and health care, the Alberta government instead decided in favour of ensuring that the next generation of children to grow up in Alberta won't be total noobs.
 Klein gives his now famous,
"Buy a damned XBox" speech.
While some are bitter about giving the upper class an advantage in the pwnage department, overall the plan has been widely praised, especially by parents in the province, who are already beginning to feel the pressure being applied by the 12-17 demographic. "The rest of Canada was saying the same thing then: 'Give me, give me, give me,' " the premier said last week.
Alberta game developer Bioware, whose recent game "Jade Empire" was released as an XBox exclusive, was reported to have been thrilled by the news, as it meant every person in the province would have no excuse whatsoever to buy their recent masterpiece. An inside source at Bioware, who wished to remain unnamed, was quoted as saying, "I think this is a great move on Klein's part, not many people I know were going to bother with the 360. Most were either waiting for the PS3 or the Revolution... But now that it isn't going to cost them anything, why the hell not?"
For now, most Albertans are happily waiting for their cheques and hoping that enough of the consoles get shipped in time for the holidays.
(Note: Pretty much this whole article is BS, yes, Klein is sending everyone in Alberta $400, and yes, it should be here right around the same time the XBox 360 launches... But no, that doesn't mean that Bill Gates and Klein are old drinking buddies. At least, I think it doesn't mean that...)
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